one month

I need to do this thing consistantly for one month...need to make some changes, and hopefully stick into a routine!!!

I want to be a homebody for the next month: focusing on IZZIE, School, Fitness, and my overall health.


So I am making a VOW right here and now that for thirty days, I will not be going out, going to parties(except w.family of course), shopping(unless for groceries), eating out(unless w.family), spending money on activities...I want to do things with Izzie; such as go to the botanical gardens, musuem (but not buy eat lunch there, pack our own), the duck park, the regular park more times during the week, I want to get my bike fixed so that Izzie and I can enjoy bike rides, read books with Izzie on a pallet made outdoors, play with Izzie in the rain, and much more......

I have gotten into this rut that things of value cost money or things that are fun must be paid for....I have lost touch with reality and I want to use this month to find myself again...


I feel like I am going backward rather than forward. I have learned so much through the past three years, and I am not using what I have learned. I want things to be simple again.


I've said this over and over, and it just ticks me off that much more that I can't take control and just change.



“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

::goals::

Early Riser

MORE IZZIE-n-ME TIME

Vegan

Stay Organized

Save $$$

A's in classes

NO Spending on anything but...Babysitter, Groceries, Gas

RELAX&BE @ PEACE IN MY HEART&SOUL

throw your stones

"Prejudice is a disease. And when they come for you, or refuse your worth, I will be ready for their stones. I belong to you. GAGAKLEIN." — Lady Gaga

I love Lady GaGa, so much. She just makes me feel okay inside, when I used to feel dark and twisty! Or just plain weird. Now I can look at myself in the mirror and be in love with who I am.

Granted there are always things that you can do to better yourself and your life.

I am a Pearl ♥

She is a pyramid
But with him she's just a grain of sand
This loves too strong like mice and men
Squeezing out the life that should be let in

She was a hurricane
But now she's just a gust of wind
She used to set the sails of a thousand ships
Was a force to be reckoned with

She could be a statue of liberty
She could be Joan of Arc
But he’s scared of the light that’s inside of her
So he keeps her in the dark

Oh she used to be a pearl
Ohh yeah she used to rule the world
Ohhhh cant believe she’s become a shell of herself
Cause she used to be a pearl

She was unstoppable
Moved fast as like an avalanche
But now she’s stuck deep in some man
Wishing that they never ever met
She could be a statue of liberty
She could be a Joan of Arc
But he’s scared of the light that’s inside of her
So he keeps her in the dark
Katy Perry Pearl lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/katy-perry-pearl-lyrics.html

Oh She used to be a pearl
Ohh yeah she used to rule the world
Ohhhh can’t believe she’s become a shell of herself
Cause she used to be a

Do you know that there’s a way out
There’s a way out
There’s a way out
There’s a way out
You don’t have to be held down
Be held down
Be held down
Be held down

Cause I used to be a shell...
Yeah I let him rule my world
My world Ohhh yeah

But I woke up and grew strong and I can still go on
And No one can take my pearl
You don’t have to be a shell No
You’re the one that rules your world Ohh
You are strong and you’ll learn
That you can still go on
And you’ll always be a pearl
She is unstoppable

No Love

No Love :


Throw dirt on me and grow a wildflower
But it's "fuck the world", get a child out her
Yeah, my life a bitch, but you know nothing bout her
Been to hell and back, I can show you vouchers
I'm rolling Sweets, I'm smoking sour
Married to the game but she broke her vows
That's why my bars are full of broken bottles
And my night stands are full of open Bibles
I think about more than I forget
But I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat
And these niggas know I lay them down, make their bed
Bitches try to kick me while I'm down: I'll break your leg
Money outweighing problems on the triple beam
I'm sticking to the script, you niggas skipping scenes
Be good or be good at it
Fucking right I've got my gun, semi-Cartermatic
Yeah, put a dick in their mouth, so I guess it's "fuck what they say"
I'm high as a bitch: up, up and away
Man, I come down in a couple of days
OK, you want me up in the cage, then I'll come out in beast mode
I got this world stuck in the safe, combination is the G-code
It's Weezy motherfucker, blood gang and I'm in bleed mode
All about my dough but I don't even check the peephole
So you can keep knocking but won't knock me down
No love lost, no love found



It's a little too late to say that you're sorry now
You kicked me when I was down
Fuck what you say, just (don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more)
That's right bitch: and I don't need you, don't want to see you
Bitch you get (no love)
You show me nothing but hate
You ran me into the ground
But what comes around goes around
I don't need you (don't hurt me)
You (don't hurt me no more)
That's right, and I don't need you, don't want to see you
You get (no love)
Bitch you get (no love)
And I don't need you
Get em



I'm alive again
More alive than I have been in my whole entire life
I can see these people's ears perk up as I begin
To spaz with the pen, I'm a little bit sicker than most
Shit's finna get thick again
They say the competition is stiff
But I get a hard dick from this shit, now stick it in
I ain't never giving in again
Cuss into the wind, complete freedom
Look at these rappers, how I treat them
So why the fuck would I join them when I beat them?
They call me a freak because
I like to spit on these pussies fore I eat them
Man get these whack cocksuckers off stage
Where the fuck is Kanye when you need him?
Snatch the mic from him, bitch I'mma let you finish in a minute
Yeah the rap is tight
But I'm fucking with the greatest verse of all time
So you might want to go back to the lab tonight and um
Scribble out them rhymes you were going to spit
And start over from scratch and write new ones
But I'm afraid that it ain't gonna make no difference
When I rip this stage and tear it in half tonight
It's an adrenaline rush to feel the bass thump
In the place all the way to the parking lot, fellow
Set fire to the mic and ignite the crowd
You can see the sparks from hot metal
Cold-hearted from the day I Bogarted the game
I so started to rock fellow
When I'm not even in my harshest
You can still get roasted because Marsh is not mellow
Til I'm toppling from the top I'm not going to stop
I'm standing on my Monopoly board
That means I'm on top of my game and it don't stop
Til my hip don't hop anymore
When you so good that you can't say it
Because it ain't even cool for you to sound cocky anymore
People just get sick cause you spit
These fools can't drool or dribble a drop anymore
And you can never break my stride
You never slow the momentum; at any moment I'm about to blow
You'll never take my pride
Killing the flow, slow venom and the opponent
Is getting no mercy, mark my words
Ain't letting up, relentless
I smell blood, I don't give a fuck: keep giving them hell
Where was you when I fell and needed help up?
You get no love.

fear

"All that ever holds somebody back, I think, is fear. For a minute I had fear. [Then] I went into the [dressing] room and shot my fear in the face..." — Lady Gaga



tonight after my relaxing run --- i looked in the mirror and shot my fear the face !

♥
tomorrow, will be a new day (: and I will be motivated tomorrow to start that day, because my fears are dead, what else could hold me back.
I am ready to get my damn goals accomplished.....I am ready to settle down with who and what I am.

Settling down, doesn't necessarily mean you must choose someone....you can settle down with YOURSELF.

learn to love you and always stay true to you!

My Thirty Day Challenge :d

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."


I will set my dragons free, I will love and embrace my fears ♥

• Become an early riser


• Walk one mile every day


• Vegan


• Spend money only on the necessities


• Meditate every day


• Do fun original "free" things with Izzie


• Work-out four times a week


• Drink only water


• Find "ME" time once a week


• Learn a new vocabulary word everyday


• No Z Time


• Rid my life of negativity

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

I am sitting here after a long evening of studying with Izzie and my Nine...watching Alice in Wonderland; and I am just thinking about how truly happy I am with everything I have and everyone I have.

Sometimes I forget how special my life is, and I start worrying about things I cannot change or things that are out of my control. Every day I learn something new or realize that I had never thought of. I think that is what life is all about....

and I know I LOVE the saying "and this bird you cannot change" -- but there are certain things that can and should be changed about a person, but not the meaning of their being or their soul. I do not think I can ever go back to the person I was before because once I found the real me and felt brave enough to be me, I feel like I am finally free and me.

And I know that we all have flaws -- every rose has a thorn -- but there are certain flaws that must be fixed and I am determined to do just that. I must realize that the change won't come over night, it will take determination and self control and motivation and patience and wiliness to accept criticism.

On a lighter note, I am loving every day and just going with the flow. My beautiful little girl does enough entertaining for me so I don't need much else :d

Don't let your dreams be dreams....but have good ones tonight ♥